Old Man Wisdom #2 - The Attributes of Character

For my beloved son, Daniel, a United States Marine, currently in Iraq.

Honesty:
Remember when, as a small boy, you admitted that you had hidden Nick’s billfold? At the time you did it, I don’t think you had thought about getting caught. I think you thought you could get away with it – and with whatever money was in it. I think it was only after a while that you knew in your heart that what you did was wrong so when confronted with the question, you admitted your guilt to me.

We all have lapses of honesty. Many times have I walked through a store and thought, “I could just take this.” Many times I have made an error on something at work and thought, “I could blame it on …” Those are examples of lapses and do not indicate dishonesty in and of themselves. They are just lapses – it is part of human nature to question ourselves about different perspectives of our being.

But there are additional “Old Man Wisdom” factors at work here. Honesty, yes. Also integrity and morality – and there is also the “guilt factor.” Guilt weighs a person down. Like a man with an empty wheat sack stopping at each field to bag some kernels, guilt builds slowly and inexorably becoming a full sack over time – hard to carry, hard to handle, hard to unload and if you are lucky enough to unload it, the muscle memory takes awhile to dissipate.

Better to not have the sack to begin with – back to honesty. Honesty is living life without that sack – and the temptation to fill it.

Honesty is being able to be trusted. By anyone – with anything. Honesty means more than “not lying” although that is a crucial piece. Honesty means a man or woman is real – to themselves and others – without pretense or affectations. It means a man or woman does not take advantage of a situation or others. It means you are genuine – what and who I see is what and who you are.

What honesty is not: It is not being “brutally honest.” Usually, you may notice, when that phrase is used, the words that precede or follow it are hurtful to another. There is tact in honesty. There is kindness in honesty. There is caring in honesty. There is love in honesty.

Big deal isn’t it? Remember, an honest man can be made up of all the positive aspects to follow in my “Old Man Wisdom.” A dishonest man will be made of none of them.
Love, Dad