Old Man Wisdom #3 - The Attributes of Character

For my beloved son, Daniel, a United States Marine, currently in Iraq.

Nurturing:
When you were born, your mom and I held you in our arms. We looked into your eyes and smiled. We spoke to you in soft, loving sounds. We were attentive to your needs – whether it was food, water, diaper changes or attention.
You are now a man but those acts we did with love when you were small are still with you. Those acts are still performed in their fashion when we see you. Translating the nurturing that takes place with a small child to the nurturing we do with each other; regardless of circumstance, is pretty simple.
Nurturing others is our call as people. Aside from the providing of sustenance, it is defined in my “dead tree dictionary” as: The act of promoting development and growth.
It matters not whether we are with family, at work, at play – we are nurturing to those around us in some fashion. Positively or negatively. Being aware of our words, our tones and inflections, our touches, our facial expressions and demeanor are all part and parcel of nurturing.
To promote development and growth in those around us is to allow them to be themselves. It is to acknowledge – in words and actions, aloud or tacitly – their importance to us as people.
To nurture means to give a little piece of ourselves to others – not in expectation of receiving back – but in acceptance of others as themselves.
It can be scary – there are times when the nurturer risks rejection – but to accept the risk knowing that it is the way to closeness with others is powerful. To put ourselves out there is freeing. It is the choice of those we come in contact with to accept or reject -but I assure you – like the stick of butter fresh from the refrigerator and left on the counter – those we nurture will soften over time.
As men, nurturing seems to come with more difficulty to us. Provide and protect – the man’s mantra – but remember, if we parse those words, to “provide” for promotes growth and development. To “protect” means to teach self sufficiency – a synonym in my book for growth and development. So get past the idea that men don’t nurture. Real men do.
Love, Dad